Top Divorce Secrets

Lawyer's secret:   Learning secrets from a seasoned divorce pro - will save you money and save your sanity in a divorce.


The No. 7  Top Divorce Tip:  Do not hire a lawyer in a large firm with more than 2 associates and a large staff.  In large offices, its very likely that the lawyer you initially meet will not be the lawyer handling your case.  Large offices tend to lure spouses into retaining their services where the client is then handed off to a very young and inexperienced lawyer.  Large firms often have billing minimums for their associates where the lawyers are trained to work more on a file than absolutely necessary.  Someone is paying for that office, over-staffing, and large payroll, and that person would be you.

The No. 6  Top Divorce Tip:  Avoid slick payment methods like flat fees and monthly payment plans.  Both options tend to drive litigation or make the case last longer than necessary.  Flat fees often seem like a good , however, spouses tend to litigate more and want to fight every issue when there's no additional cost involved.  This approach tends to make spouses seem unreasonable or vexatious and this will make a Judge furious.  Monthly payment plans do not provide the proper incentive to have your lawyer complete the case efficiently.  Delay is rewarded when using monthly payment plan.  While not intuitive, alternative payment methods in a divorce can have a disastrous impact on your case.

The No. 5 top Divorce Tip: Never ask for specific court action, until you have provided all the facts to your lawyer.  Allow your lawyer provide the advice that suits the situation before you.  By simply walking in and demanding that you obtain an Order of Protection could affect your case negatively; the lawyer may take a course of action that may not be necessary, and all at your expense.  Tell your lawyer everything, and allow the attorney to do the thinking as to the best course of action for your case.


The No. 4 top Divorce Tip: What most spouses do not realize is that their lawyer and the lawyer for their spouse, despite all their arguing and courtroom animosity for each other, are colleagues behind closed doors.   Many legal scholars and members of the Judiciary believe that this is the greatest proof of our civility in our age.  You shouldn’t feel that your attorney and your spouse’s attorney should be sworn enemies.  

The No. 3 top Divorce Tip: Unless you earn millions per year, most spouses cannot afford a “blood bath” divorce.  Most spouses do not realize that your attorney can withdraw from your case at any time, and for a host of reasons:  one of the reasons may very well be for not being paid.  Be mindful that your attorney does not have to stay in the case.   


The No. 2 top Divorce Tip:  Many aspects of the law are not intuitive.  Many people start researching statutes and various other sources of law only to misinterpret the information.  Nothing comes close to meeting and talking to a well versed divorce or custody lawyer.  Make an appointment for a talk - just make sure that you do not get pressured into signing with a lawyer at the first meeting.

And the No. 1 Divorce Tip:  Many spouses know that the spouse with an attorney wins at the end. Smart spouses know that the process may cost money, if there are disagreements.  So, make sure you have a good support group in the process to help with the emotional aspects of the case, and get a similar support group in place to help with the costs of the case.  Losing your lawyer in the middle of your case for lack of payment doesn't help. Many spouses don't plan on this contingency, and regret it later.